


Only a Kiss

by Samunderthelights



Series: Drarropoly : 2020 [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Drarropoly: Founders Edition - A Drarry Game/Fest, Drarry, Enemies to Lovers, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hopeful Ending, Kissing, M/M, POV Alternating, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Polyjuice Potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28390524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: Harry knew that there was something different about Ginny today. There was something about the way she had looked at him, the way she had touched him. The way that kiss felt. How it had made him feel things he had never felt before.But he can't quite put his finger on what the difference was. Because it was Ginny who had kissed him, his girlfriend. The girl he was about to break up with. Yet something about her had been different...
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: Drarropoly : 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023337
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51
Collections: Drarropoly '20: Founders Edition





	Only a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Drarropoly 2020](https://gameofdrarry.tumblr.com/).  
> I landed on Potions Storeroom, and I got the prompt 'What potion did someone take?'. I also used the prompts 'Polyjuice', 'Enemies to Lovers' and 'You must tell the story ~50% from Draco's POV and ~50% from Harry's POV'.

**Harry**

_I don’t love you anymore. I think we should break up._

Well, that’s a lie, isn’t it? I don’t think I was ever in love with Ginny. Not really. I like her, and it was nice to have someone liking me back. To have someone wanting me, I suppose. But love? That’s a big word.

Not one I should use when I break up with her.

_We should break up. Explore other options._

She will think I have met someone else, but what else am I supposed to tell her? That I’m bored? That I try to avoid kissing her, because it doesn’t make me feel anything? That I just want to get this over and done with, because I regret getting myself into this?

I know that I’m about to hurt her, but I’ve been avoiding this conversation for weeks, if not months, and the guilt is starting to eat away at me. It isn’t fair to keep leading her on, to listen when she’s planning our future together, when in reality all I want to do is run away.

We are supposed to meet up in the courtyard, but I’m not ready for this. Not yet. I can’t bear the thought of making her cry. Of having Ron and Hermione tell me off for hurting her, when really, I’m just trying to protect her. Or perhaps I’m just a coward.

Either way, I find myself wandering through the hallways, searching for somewhere, anywhere to be alone for a minute. But wherever I look, people are everywhere. So I end up going into the potions classroom, something about it feeling dark and haunted now that Professor Snape is gone. But at least it’s empty, and it gives me a moment to myself to gather my thoughts. To think of what I am going to say to Ginny.

But when I hear some shuffling, I turn around, half-preparing myself for a fight. But Ginny is standing there, shaking like a leaf, looking so nervous, that I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong. Did something happen? Who got hurt? Who died?

But she flashes a smile, and she comes up to me to give me a hug. Something in her touch that feels nervous, insecure. Her hands caress my back, her lips brushing just past the skin of my neck.

It should turn me on, make me want to pick her up and take her into the storeroom. But I feel nothing. I don’t love her.

“Ginny…”

“Kiss me,” she whispers, “Please.”

“I can’t,” I try to tell her, but my voice fails, and not a sound comes out. So I free myself from her grip, and I look into her eyes, hoping she can tell by the look on my face what I am about to tell her.

But she smiles again, before kissing me, my first instinct being to push her away. But I don’t. I can’t.

There is something about her kiss that makes me feel things I haven’t felt before. That passion I had looked for ever since we got together. Something that makes me put my arms around her and kiss her back.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she smiles, as she runs a hand through my hair. “I love you.”

Her words make me snap out of it, because I don’t love her. I should tell her. End this now. Put us both out of our misery.

But the way she just kissed me… she has never kissed me like that before. She never looks at me like that. She is distant, I suppose we both are. There is no fire, no excitement. That kiss felt exciting, it makes me want to kiss her again, take it further and see what else is there. Find out if maybe we just got off to a false start, but we can make this work after all.

“You seem different.”

“I do?” she asks, her cheeks turning crimson. “Sorry.”

“No, I like it.”

I lean down against the desk, and I watch her stand there, trying hard to figure out what’s different. But she looks the same, she feels the same. Yet she feels nothing like the Ginny I have known for years, the Ginny I had woken up next to, filled with nothing but regret.

She places her hands on my hips, a mischievous smile on her face, before she leans in to kiss me again. Those words still running through my mind.

_I don’t love you. We should break up. Explore other options._

_I don’t love you._

But when she kisses me again, I feel what I was supposed to feel all along. It’s as though I’ve been asleep all this time, and I’m only now seeing her. Feeling her. It should make me happy, and I should ignore the doubts I used to have. Accept that this is how it’s meant to be.

But this feels wrong. This does not feel like Ginny, even though I can see her standing in front of me, smiling at me. Telling me she loves me.

It’s just not right.

“I love you, Pot… Harry.”

“What did you say?”

“I love you,” she repeats, but my blood already feels like it is turning to ice. So I shove her off, ignoring the hurt look in her eyes. “Harry, please…”

“What the hell…”

“Please…,” she whispers, but just then the door opens, and a group of students come in, looking for a quiet place. So I sneak off past them, rushing to the courtyard, where I find Ginny waiting for me.

“You’re late,” she says, looking irritated. Looking cold. Distant.

This is Ginny. But who the hell was that? Deep down I know, because there is only one person who calls me that, but surely…

“What did you want to talk about?”

“I think we should break up,” I blurt out, that other Ginny’s kiss still on my lips. “This… it’s not…”

“I know,” she sighs. “I agree.”

* * *

**Draco**

I punch the wall, cursing myself for messing it up. I had done so well, making him believe I was her, and then I called him Potter. So stupid. What was I thinking, pretending to be Ginny, just to get close to him? How could I be so bloody stupid to think that I could actually pull this off?

I hit the wall again, my hand my own again, but I don’t care about the pain. Let it hurt. Please.

I have been wanting to get close to him for years, and I have done well to keep it to myself. So why change things now? Why make a move, when we’re so close to being done with each other once and for all?

I feel like I should go and apologise, but what am I supposed to tell him? I’m sorry that I pretended to be your girlfriend, just so I could finally kiss you? Just so, for once, you wouldn’t look at me with nothing but disgust. Pity.

Just so I would know what it feels like to hold you, and to tell you I love you.

He would never let me hear the end of it, and let’s face it, he would probably tell McGonagall and get me expelled.

What if he tells everyone?

I hadn’t even thought of that. I hadn’t thought at all, had I?

Now all I can do is hope that he’ll never bring it up. I will get rid of the evidence, pretend it never happened.

But how am I supposed to forget about kissing him? Finally.

As soon as I grab my supply of Polyjuice, I begin to hesitate, because once this is gone, that is it. There will be no more kissing. No more holding him and saying ‘I love you’. He will be out of reach again. If I keep this, try it again…

I get slammed into the wall, bottles clattering down all around me, and at first I think Ginny must have found out somehow. But when I dare to open my eyes, and I find Harry’s face – just inches away from my own – I almost breathe a sigh of relief.

“How dare you!”

“What do you…”

“Don’t!” he spits out, slamming me into the wall again. “I knew it was you! I always knew you were sick, but this…”

“I’m sorry,” I mumble, but what’s the point? I still remember the way he had looked at me after we kissed, but now his eyes are filled with hatred again. This is how he truly feels about me.

“Why did you do it, huh?” he asks. “Were you trying to hurt me, is that? Ruin my relationship? Well, guess what. I didn’t tell her, so whatever it was that you were trying to do…”

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” I try, but I can tell that he doesn’t hear me, too caught up in his anger. So I tell him again, and this time he stops mid-sentence to stare at me, a confused look on his face.

“Then why? I don’t get it.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” I sigh. “But don’t worry, I’m here to get rid of the stuff, so… I’m sorry, alright?”

“Why should I believe you?”

I hand him the potion, not even trying to defend myself, and I can see him opening his mouth to cuss me out. But then he changes his mind, and he leans back against the wall, all of the sudden looking tired and defeated. Like he has given up on the fight he was prepared to have with me.

“Why kiss me?” he asks.

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

He looks at me, the smallest of smiles forming on his lips.

“I knew it wasn’t her,” he then sighs. “She doesn’t kiss me like that.”

“Sorry…”

“You’re a better kisser,” he admits, and what the bloody hell is happening? Is he flirting with me? Or am I imagining things? “We broke up.”

“Because of what I did?”

I should be happy, because I don’t want him to be with Ginny. I want him to be with me, but that’s never going to happen, is it? Still, I never liked them together. Anyone could tell that it wasn’t love. Not really.

I don’t feel happy when he says the words though. I feel sorry for him.

So I reach out, and I carefully grab his hand, nervous it will scare him off. But he answers my question, ignoring me holding his hand entirely.

“It had nothing to do with you. But what you did… when you kissed me…”

It feels like he is struggling to find the right words, but in the end he doesn’t finish what he was going to say. He just looks down at our hands, perhaps only now realising what we’re doing. Who he’s here with.

He pulls away, his face growing harder again.

“If you do something like this again…”

“I won’t.”

He leans in, and the thought crosses my mind that he’s about to kiss me, but then he steps away again, a look on his face which I can’t quite place.

“Harry…”

“Don’t!” he warns me, before storming off.

I almost follow him, because I should have told him why I wanted to kiss him. Why that kiss meant so much to me. But I had seen the way he looked at me, judging me. Hating me.

This kiss was supposed to be the one memory I had of him, that one thing that I could look back on. That was purely mine, and for no one to ever find out about. But after having him finding out, the memory just feels wrong. Like it isn’t mine.

Harry never kissed me. He kissed Ginny.

He would never kiss me.

* * *

**Harry**

“What’s going on with you?” Neville asks, when I storm past him. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Just leave…”

“Ginny told me you and her…”

“This isn’t about her!” I spit out, but I immediately feel guilty. “Sorry, Neville. I just…”

“Want to go somewhere to talk?”

“I kissed Malfoy,” I blurt out, and for a moment I can see a smile beginning to form on Neville’s face, as he is waiting for the punchline to my joke. But when he realises that it’s not a joke, he pulls me into an empty classroom, a worried look on his face.

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t know it was him, but he… it doesn’t matter how it happened. But we kissed,” I try to explain, too many thoughts racing through my mind. Because I had almost kissed him again in the storeroom just now. Not Ginny, not Draco pretending to be Ginny. Draco.

That kiss earlier today had felt so right, that I can still feel it, and I want to have another kiss like that. But this is Draco Malfoy, not a girlfriend, not even just a friend. The guy I hate. Or thought I hated. But just now, hate didn’t even cross my mind. I felt flattered, that he had wanted to kiss me. I had even caught myself flirting with him, hoping he would kiss me again.

Draco bloody Malfoy.

“Why did you kiss him?” Neville asks, “Do you like him?”

“I can’t. It’s Malfoy!”

“Yeah, I know. But do you?” he asks again. “Why did you kiss him?”

“It was a mistake.”

He stares at me for a moment, but then he sighs, looking over his shoulder to make sure we’re alone.

“Look, Harry, I can’t stand the guy. But if you like him… just go for it, yeah? He seems different, so perhaps… perhaps he’s not so bad, you know?”

I can’t help but smile at him trying to give this advice, when deep down he probably wants to tell me to run a mile before I go and kiss Draco again.

“Thanks, Neville.”

“Are you going to go talk to him?”

I should go and get ready for bed, have an early night after all that has happened today. But how am I supposed to settle down with all this raging around inside of me? I keep thinking about how I had known that there was something about the way Ginny – Draco – kissed me, that felt different. I had known it right away, yet I had let it happen. I wanted it to happen.

I wanted her. Him.

I should ignore this, I know I should. It wouldn’t be fair on Ginny, would it? But the thought of ignoring this, of making myself forget about it, it makes me feel a panic I haven’t felt in a long time.

I was only a kiss, so why do I feel like this? Why do I feel more now, than I ever did when I was with Ginny?

* * *

**Draco**

I’m still cleaning up the mess in the storeroom, when a knock on the door makes me jump up. I’m not supposed to be here, but so far no one had come to find me. I can only imagine Harry having told on me, and McGonagall having come to tell me I need to go pack my things and go home. But when I turn, Harry is standing there, no longer looking angry, but now looking nervous.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him, but he shrugs, before stepping up to me. “Harry…”

“Why did you kiss me?” he whispers, but from the way he is staring at my mouth, I can tell that he already knows the answer. That he is building up to what he’s going to do next.

“You know why.”

He gives a small, almost undetectable nod, before reaching out, and tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear, his eyes still focused on my mouth.

“Harry…”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” I whisper, too nervous, too scared to speak the words any louder.

I can feel the nerves raging through my body, my heartbeat thumping in my ears. Because this time I’m not wearing a mask, I’m not hiding behind someone else. This time it’s me and him, and it feels so small, so intimate, yet so overwhelmingly big, like this one small moment is about to change our worlds.

He leans in, and he presses his lips against mine, his hand grabbing onto the back of my neck. His fingers on my skin feeling like fire and ice at the same time, my knees almost buckling as he presses his body against mine.

I had dreamt of this moment for so long, but to actually be here, to feel him, to know what his kiss tastes like, it is too much. So I gently pull away, and I lean back against the wall, trying my best to steady my breath. To not show him how much his kiss has gotten to me.

“I’m supposed to hate you.”

“I know.”

“But this…,” he begins, before swallowing hard. “What have you done to me?”

“Nothing, I swear,” I whisper, but I can see the fear in his eyes. How he still can’t trust me. “You know what I did, pretending to be Ginny, but that’s it. I wouldn’t…”

“Then why… what is this?” he asks, before hitting against my chest. “Huh? What did you do?”

“This was a mistake,” I try, but I can see the panic building up inside of him. So I wrap my arms around him, and I hold him, even as he tries to push me away. “I didn’t do anything.”

“I hate you,” he cries into my chest. “I hate this! And I hate that you’re doing this to me!”

“I know,” I whisper, before pressing a kiss into his hair. Not sure what else to tell him.

Am I supposed to tell him ‘I love you’? Defend myself? Try and make him love me?

* * *

**Harry**

“I’m sorry about last night,” I mumble, as Draco and I sit down by the lake, finally having left behind our classmates. “I didn’t mean… I don’t hate you. I don’t think I do.”

He flashes a small, hurt smile, before staring out at the water.

“I know I don’t,” I sigh. “I got scared. Because we’re… you know… this isn’t supposed to be happening.”

“I know.” He nods. “That’s why I never said anything. I knew this would happen. Well, I suppose I didn’t know you were going to kiss me, but I knew you would freak out about it.”

“I’m not freaking out!” I try to defend myself, but when he looks at me, raising an eyebrow, I can’t help but smile. “Yeah, alright. I freaked out, but only because it felt like…”

“Too much?” he suggests, and I suppose that’s it. Too much.

That kiss, feeling these kinds of things for Draco, it’s too much. But it comes with a curious excitement, and I want to find out where it will lead to. What else he can make me feel.

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” he admits. “and it stell felt like too much. So for you, when just yesterday you were still with…”

Hold up. He has been in love with me for years? So all that time, when he pretended to hate me, this was what was really on his mind? How could I not have known that?

“If you want to pretend it didn’t happen,” he continues, shrugging, searching for his next words. “I’m sorry I pretended to be her, but I never meant to hurt anyone. I only ever wanted this.”

“What would you have done if I hadn’t found out? Would you have gone on pretending to be Ginny?”

“No. It wasn’t real.”

“Is this?”

* * *

**Draco**

Is this real?

It’s the one thing that has never changed throughout the years, the one thing that I clung onto when I felt like the darkness was about to pull me under to drown me. This? This love, this feeling, this is the only real thing I have ever known. But how am I supposed to tell him that?

“What do you want, Harry?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “But I know what I felt when we kissed.”

“It was only a kiss.” I shrug, giving him a chance to back out now. To tell me that yes, it was nothing more than a silly kiss, and we should forget about it. We’ll go back to ignoring each other, and that’s that.

But he doesn’t take the way out. Instead, he places his hand on my knee, and he flashes a nervous, crooked smile.

“What about Ginny?”

“I don’t love her,” he says. “But I want to find out what this is.”

“Do you still think I have put a spell on you?”

He flashes an embarrassed smile, as I place my hand on his.

“I didn’t,” I reassure him. “But if you want to run…”

“I don’t.”

“And what if someone sees you with me? You know people will have something to say about it.”

The second he takes to think of an answer, makes me doubt everything. But then the smile on his face grows, and he looks down at our hands.

“We’ve been through worse, don’t you think?” He smiles, before leaning in, and pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “I’m not saying that what you did was okay, but…”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

So stupid.

“But I’m glad you did it,” he admits. “At least it got us here.”

“Here being…?”

“We’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> http://samunderthelights.tumblr.com/


End file.
